Please Hammer, Do...Oh You Know the Drill

I know I promised some Captain America action yesterday, but something came up. Something awesome:

ORIGINAL HITLER PUNCHING ART!

Thanks to Kelly Reardon of Where's M.C. Hammer? for the picture, which I suspect was conceived in some capacity by Forklift over at Hockeenight.

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

You wanted more Hitler Punching? You got it.

Or rather, I wanted more Hitler Punching, asked for it, and got it.

This may be a little High Concept,* but here's a wonderfully drawn 5-second sketch of webcomics juggernaut Kevin Church delivering what I assume to be a right jab to Adolf's noggin', courtesy of Drunk Elephant Comics' very own Max Riffner!

I've never met Mr. Church face-to-face, but I am assured that this is accurate in every detail.

*As if I ever had a problem with that.

Keeping Our Fist On the Zeitgeist...

So, I was lamenting the fact that someone needs to punch Hipster Hitler on principle, and rcs reminded me that like TWO MONTHS AGO he made this:



I feel like such a fool for forgetting about that. And for forgetting about this blog. AGAIN.

Okay, I'm Back...

Sorry about being out of the loop for so long, but I've been busy at work, planning a wedding, and just plain lazy.

But all of that changed.

Why?

Because THE BLACKHAWKS WON THE STANLEY CUP, that's why!


Thanks to rcs, for sticking a Chelsea Dagger in-between Hitler's ribs.

This Fills Me With Inordinate Delight

Last week was a bit of a wash for me, but I'm hoping HGP comes on strong this week.

And to start with, we have some ORIGINAL HITLER PUNCHING ART!

Thanks to Robin, whose Meats and Treats was the single greatest food cartoon blog of 2009.

And if you want to show off your Hitler Punching skills, submit some original art to HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com. And, like Robin, you might just get some of these:

Enjoy those HGP Fun Bucks, Robin.

Can the Balloon Juice and Hit Something!

Literature's nice and all, but I bet you've all been missing the sweet kiss of fists on Hitler's face.

Thankfully, Uncle Sam is here to change that:


Thanks to rcs for the picture, which he found here. You can click on it to enlarge.

And because he has a poet's soul, rcs also composed this limerick:

There once was a man from Braunau am Inn
Whose vision of the world was quite grim
Old Wolt made this site
So we can swing day & night
And punch Adolph's mug at our whim!

Which is the first time anyone has written a non-dirty limerick about me. Thanks!

More Poetry Corner!

I got so excited about remembering to hang Hitler on his birthday, I almost forgot that today was one of my posting days.

Have another collage poem!

Time To

I am made of shellfish tick tock tick
He encounter globe make gesture
Come at swingin', come at swingin'
I sit in one of the dives on
Firebomb jag, write them as are
Give Adolf the rough end of the stick
The swift rendering unto, the hot house
There may, four candles grouped, as is,
With Elmer Fudd in Warsaw Ghetto
This Count Basie Orchestral Maneuvers in
The thee the thou the wendigo blues
Lightly brown a pound of ground
Take a number, punch that Shitler
Sometimes it happens that an image
Is not forthcoming, so come at him
Swinging

Thanks to Gene Mayes for the erudite Hitler Punchery.

HGP's Poetry Corner!

Happy Monday! It's time to give you illiterate HGP readers some culture. Some culture with fists.

Longtime HGP reader (and one of our first contributors) Gene Mayes has given us another slab of two-fisted poetic justice, this time a collage poem:

Cold Soup in the Bathroom

They often wander for the wandering
The old prizefighters; Henry screwed the day
And nightly scissored his canned brown bread
Why not chase the moondog? Hitler creeping
All lyrical abstractions correct and accounted
For lying still and sleeping, Daffy Duck
And hollowpoint rounds--Hitler saw and ducked
The first punch, the second, not third
The hard bread breath of, the sticky lights of, of
Mussolini hidden with hardboiled eggs in aspic
Jiggling, Hitler crying now, bloodied and
Vaguer stuff can still decide the day, Henry screwed the day
And nightly punched the Führer they called him
They often wander for the wandering, dog moons
And nicer stuff, ducked or lying under gelatin cover
Punch him harder
It's a dog's world

Thanks again, Gene! Here's your Fun Bucks. And remember: Hitler Punching is for everyone! Send your examples, in whatever medium you choose, to HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com.

A Simple Lesson

You know, sometimes I send out a little request for DIY Hitler-Punching from my Loyal Readers.

And sometimes I hear back from my Loyal Readers: "But Wolter, how can we punch Hitler?"

And I say, "It's simple, Loyal Readers, all you have to do is..."

And then I catch myself, and say, "But why can I tell you, when rcs can SHOW YOU:



See? It's that simple!

Like rcs, you can send your DIY Hitler-Punching art to HitlerPuncher AT Gmail DOT Com. Do it.

A Christmas Message From Santa

Sometimes words can hit as hard as a fist:

Well, not really. But still...watching Santa give Hitler a dressing down is a Christmas Miracle to me. Plus, come on, how awesome is it to hear that right jolly old elf say: "YOU WILL GO THE WAY OF ALL GRASPING TYRANTS...PERISH IN BLOODY DEFEAT..."

Olaf found this here.

SPECIAL BONUS CHRISTMAS CONTENT!

rcs gets Grinchy on Adolf:

MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND KEEP ON PUNCHING IN THE NEW YEAR!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like...

...KRAMPUS!

Well, at least everywhere I go.

Thanks to Olaf for the Kristmas Krampus Kraziness, which he Kreated. If you want to submit your own Krampus art, by all means send them to HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com.

Hitler's War On Christmas...

...is not going well.

Thanks to rcs for bringing the DIY reindeer games. May his stocking be stuffed with HGP fun bucks this year.

Did I Put Up Five Entries This Week...

Or six?


In all the confusion, I almost forgot to thank rcs for making my day with more DIY action!

Every Time I Try to Escape DIY Week...

...rcs drags me kicking and screaming back in.

I literally laughed out loud at this one, though:



Someday a real rain will come, Adolf...

Kick Him 'Til You Puke!

If there's one thing Andrew W.K. likes to do, it's party.

But if there's another thing he likes to do, I can only assume it's...

Kicking Hitler in the face.

Thanks to Olaf for providing me with my favorite DIY Hitler-kick-to-the-face in history. And thanks to Hoy for providing the photo.

If anyone would care to top Olaf (maybe by having the Electric Six punching Hitler), send your own Hitler-injuries to HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com.

More DIY For Monday!

You know, Hitler was less angry at Jesse Owens for winning those medals in 1936 than most people think.

What really pissed the Fuhrer off was when Jesse flying-roundhouse-kicked him into the long-jump sandpit.



Thanks to rcs for the DIY Hitler-smackin'. Send your own DIY entries to HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com, and be part of the fun.

If Adolf Hitler Flew In (Again) Today...

...they'd smack in the face with a bass!

DIY action continues with this piece from rcs!

Bonus feature: The HGP Roundtable

Olaf: "I like the surrealism of it. 'Paul Simonon goes bass fishing in a lake that looks like Hitler'"

rcs: "finally, someone understands my efforts! i suffer for my work - you should suffer, too!"

Wolter: "Solid."

I just love that this isn't even the first Clash-related DIY Hitler art.

Don't be left in the cold, folks! Send your DIY Hitler Pain to HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com.!

NES DIY Action!

You know what? I used to hate the damn dog from Duck Hunt. Always laughing at my poor aim. But then...

HE TOTALLY COLD-COCKED HITLER!

Thanks to Still216 for another entry in his acclaimed (by me) series (do two entries count as a series? I think they do) of DIY NES art.

L'had'lik neir shel Hitler Punch!

The future Mrs. Hitler Puncher has submitted a piece of DIY artwork honoring the rich traditions of Hanukkah:


Well, sort of...

Thanks, Ali! Your HGP Fun Gelt is on the way.

More DIY Today!

A couple of days ago @Darth_Awesome made a second one!

This one is suitably titled:

"Hitler's Dentist has his work cut out for him."

I need more DIY art folks. Send me your own homemade Hitler-hatin' hilarity at HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com.

And I'll give you some of these.

And if you're one of the hundreds of new readers from the Baltic region, I say: hallo!