Not Even Remotely Timely

I was originally going to put this up around Christmas, but I received plenty of more suitable pics.

Leave it to Rob Liefeld's comic company to manage to make Santa a musclebound, knife-wielding, pouch-bedecked psychopath. But wait...

Is that Hitler in the pile?


Eh, close enough.

This tastelessness appeared in Santa the Barbarian #1, and was actually drawn by Dan Fraga (who is, I suppose a step up, artwise from his crosshatch-prone employer). I actually hadn't heard of this comic until recently, since I pretty much stopped reading comics for a decade when they all started looking like this.

And no, Virginia. To the best of my knowledge, there has been no Santa the Barbarian #2.

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM HGP!

GIve a Hoot: Read a Book, part 2

As part of our ongoing literacy program here at HGP, may I offer you this complimentary bookmark?


The original can be found here.

Thanks to rcs, for reminding us to read early and often.

Sweat it Out, Adolf!

You will be getting punched. Oh yes.



I have no idea who drew the cover to Prize Comics #37, but I'm hoping Yank and Doodle moved up the food chain.

It's Golden Age Policy...

All heroes must go after the middle-aged, unarmed politician first, while allowing your underage sidekick to tackle the Luger-toting career soldier.

Way to follow protocol, Eagle.

Also, per Weird Comics #20 (artist unknown), that Winston Churchill is still getting himself into scrapes.

An admission: I almost just credited Olaf for this out of habit, even though I found this my own damn self.

"Hitler Rhino Skates"

That was my original draft title for this, so I could remind myself what picture was on here:

To be honest, that's pretty much everything you need to know. All attempts at changing it are fruitless. Also, this is about as awesome a concept as I have ever seen.

Olaf found this picture, which is by an artist named Rheall; you can check out her site here.

Happy Boxing Day!

I would really love to have the moment of impact, but I think this tells a story:


And a pretty darn good one.

Olaf discovered this little sequence here. It's from this film.

A Christmas Message From Santa

Sometimes words can hit as hard as a fist:

Well, not really. But still...watching Santa give Hitler a dressing down is a Christmas Miracle to me. Plus, come on, how awesome is it to hear that right jolly old elf say: "YOU WILL GO THE WAY OF ALL GRASPING TYRANTS...PERISH IN BLOODY DEFEAT..."

Olaf found this here.

SPECIAL BONUS CHRISTMAS CONTENT!

rcs gets Grinchy on Adolf:

MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND KEEP ON PUNCHING IN THE NEW YEAR!

I Can't Believe It's Krampus Eve!

In fact, it snuck up on me so fast I didn't have time to clean up and color my own Krampus art:

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM HGP!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like...

...KRAMPUS!

Well, at least everywhere I go.

Thanks to Olaf for the Kristmas Krampus Kraziness, which he Kreated. If you want to submit your own Krampus art, by all means send them to HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com.

Hitler's War On Christmas...

...is not going well.

Thanks to rcs for bringing the DIY reindeer games. May his stocking be stuffed with HGP fun bucks this year.

With All the Guns Trained on Hitler The Last Few Days...

I would never have expected the Red Skull to be the one to finish the job...

Thanks to rcs for the pic. Issue and artist unknown.

Maybe He Didn't Agree About "Like a Virgin."

Well, I've been making a time of Hitler-at-gunpoint images, so I guess in honor of the upcoming DVD release of Inglourious Basterds, I'll add one more:


I'm willing to sacrifice Mr. Brown if I have to. Sorry, Quentin.

Olaf tipped me off about this image, which he found here.

Did I Put Up Five Entries This Week...

Or six?


In all the confusion, I almost forgot to thank rcs for making my day with more DIY action!

Every Time I Try to Escape DIY Week...

...rcs drags me kicking and screaming back in.

I literally laughed out loud at this one, though:



Someday a real rain will come, Adolf...

BONK!

Really, what else is there to say, but...?

BONK!

This mysterious beflagged man BONKS Hitler and Tojo together on Power Comics #2, art signed "DEL," which may by Maurice del Bourgo.

Oh, and seriously, anyone and everyone out there who wants to draw me a Christmas Krampus spanking Hitler, by all means send it to HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com. My grinchy little Hitler Punching heart will grow three sizes if you do.

We'll Meet Again...

I question the wisdom of this plan, Sam...



Sam and Buddy do their Slim Pickens impression in National Comics #30. It looks like the artist might be Reed Crandall.

Kick Him 'Til You Puke!

If there's one thing Andrew W.K. likes to do, it's party.

But if there's another thing he likes to do, I can only assume it's...

Kicking Hitler in the face.

Thanks to Olaf for providing me with my favorite DIY Hitler-kick-to-the-face in history. And thanks to Hoy for providing the photo.

If anyone would care to top Olaf (maybe by having the Electric Six punching Hitler), send your own Hitler-injuries to HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com.

More DIY For Monday!

You know, Hitler was less angry at Jesse Owens for winning those medals in 1936 than most people think.

What really pissed the Fuhrer off was when Jesse flying-roundhouse-kicked him into the long-jump sandpit.



Thanks to rcs for the DIY Hitler-smackin'. Send your own DIY entries to HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com, and be part of the fun.

If Adolf Hitler Flew In (Again) Today...

...they'd smack in the face with a bass!

DIY action continues with this piece from rcs!

Bonus feature: The HGP Roundtable

Olaf: "I like the surrealism of it. 'Paul Simonon goes bass fishing in a lake that looks like Hitler'"

rcs: "finally, someone understands my efforts! i suffer for my work - you should suffer, too!"

Wolter: "Solid."

I just love that this isn't even the first Clash-related DIY Hitler art.

Don't be left in the cold, folks! Send your DIY Hitler Pain to HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com.!

NES DIY Action!

You know what? I used to hate the damn dog from Duck Hunt. Always laughing at my poor aim. But then...

HE TOTALLY COLD-COCKED HITLER!

Thanks to Still216 for another entry in his acclaimed (by me) series (do two entries count as a series? I think they do) of DIY NES art.

L'had'lik neir shel Hitler Punch!

The future Mrs. Hitler Puncher has submitted a piece of DIY artwork honoring the rich traditions of Hanukkah:


Well, sort of...

Thanks, Ali! Your HGP Fun Gelt is on the way.

More DIY Today!

A couple of days ago @Darth_Awesome made a second one!

This one is suitably titled:

"Hitler's Dentist has his work cut out for him."

I need more DIY art folks. Send me your own homemade Hitler-hatin' hilarity at HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com.

And I'll give you some of these.

And if you're one of the hundreds of new readers from the Baltic region, I say: hallo!

I've Had Alls I Can Stands

...and I can stands no more!

Thanks to yesterday's google headline, rcs has given me a little D.I.Y. Hitler Action!

In honor of this, I declare the next few days D.I.Y. DAZE!¹ All original Hitler art only, at least until...say...the first day of Chanukah.²

1. Because I can't spell "Days" correctly.
2. Because I only have 3 at present.

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails?

Hardly.

Arrows and Slingshots and Shards of Broken Glass?

NOW THAT'S WHAT BOYS ARE MADE OF!

Hitler and the gang are about to get what for in Boy Comics #4, with art by Charles Biro.

Thanks to Olaf.

I Dream Of Punching Hitler This Hard

You know, sometimes it's just nice to see someone deck Der Fuhrer so hard he flies through the air:

Don't you feel better for seeing that? I know I do.

Captain Courageous cold-cocks Hitler (almost as well as Destroyer does) in Banner Comics #3 (artist unknown). Of course, He may punch as well as Destroyer, but his uniform is only about half as goofy...

More Guest Art!

I didn't just get one submission from Friday's call to arms. Oh no.

I got two.

Ladies and gentlement, Ken Lowery gives us:

Hitler Gets His Shit Wrecked.

Ken has his fingers in a lot of internet pies, most notably the web series The Variants and possibly my all time favorite twitter feed ever, The Fake AP Stylebook.

Which leads me to the question, should I put a © or a an ® after HGP Fun Bucks^TM?

Fist Meets...Awesome.

Yesterday, I sent out the following twitter call-to-action:

@HitlerPuncher I need to devote more time to making Original Hitler Punching art. And so do you.

Within a half hour, I received this gem from @Darth_Awesome, entitled:

"Fist Meets Asshole."

Hell's yes. Your HGP Fun Bucks are in the mail. And by "in the mail," I mean "at the end of that link."

For the record, feel free to follow me, even though I probably only say something insightful about once ever two months.

A Most Thrilling Fast Action Adventure Story!

Thank you, Cat-Man, for giving me the best possible reason to buy War Bonds:

To fund the race to put a Hitler on the moon.

Not sure who drew the cover for Cat-Man #19, but whoever it is should be proud of the masterful portrayal of Hitler getting punched into orbit.

Because You Didn't NOT Ask For It!

I bring you a little more Uncle Sam action(lessness).

Up until this point I had never imagined Uncle Sam vs. Mechagodzilla. Now there is nothing I want to see more.

Giant Uncle Sam shows his stern disapproval in Uncle Sam Quarterly #7, with art by Al Bryant. And, hopefully delivers a right cross to the Fuhrer's jaw at some point.

Who Put This Swastika Here?!?

No matter. When unwanted swastikas show up...

...I know a guy to call.

Uncle Sam and his sidekick Buddy bust up symbols of evil and hand out black eyes in Uncle Sam Quarterly #5, with art by Al Gabriele.

The Best Advice You Can Give the Youth of Today?

GIVE HITLER THE BUM'S RUSH!

Thank you, Jack Kirby and Joe Simon, for teaching us about life and love.

The Boy Commandos give Hitler just that in Boy Commandos #2.

Here's a Post Label I Never Thought I'd Use Twice...

Remember Captain Berlin? Of course you do. He's the dashing feller that later helped me create HGP Fun Bucks.

And now he's back - in a limited edition DVD! Which comes with a limited edition comic book! And a limited edition DOG TAG:

So. Yeah. All I'm saying is that Christmas is coming up...

More information can be found on Captain Berlin's Myspace Page.

Thanks to Olaf.

So Long, From Alex Schomburg Week

Saying goodbye is so hard...



I mean, unless you're saying goodbye to those Dirty Ratzis.

But it will be tough to say goodbye to Alex Schomburg Week. I'll miss his clean linework, his dedication to Hitler abuse, and most of all, his hidden Mussolinis (okay, there's no Mussolini in this one since it's from 1945, but Goering is pretty fat and slovenly and makes a fine surrogate).

But HGP will be back tomorrow with another fist to Hitler's face. See you there!

I Don't Think I Can Parse This

But, note that Mussolini is once again making an appearance on this Alex Schomburg cover. Good eye, Olaf. Man, I even have to credit you on things I find myself...


Bucky and Toro whup the hell out of the Axis leaders AND some sort of weird Buddhist-Hindu-Mayan fertility symbol in Young Allies #9.

I Wouldn't Do That If I Were You...

Of course, if I were Hitler, I would probably punch myself.


The Black Terror, Doc Strange, American Eagle, and Pyroman are about to give Hitler a Stern Punching To in America's Best Comics #7. Art is once again by the legendary Alex Schomburg.

Reasons To Thankful, Part 3.

I'm thankful for a lot of things this time of year: friends, family, Batman, the fact that my fiancee said yes, etc.

But I'm especially thankful for Hitler abuse. Which means, this week, I am thankful for Alex Schomburg. And The Fighting Yank:

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONE!

Except Hitler. Screw that guy.

I'm also thankful to Olaf, for being one of the main reasons I've been able to keep this little blog afloat for this long.

I Think I Have An Inadvertent Theme

I'm looking through my stock of upcoming pics, and I noticed a phenomenal number of Golden Age covers by yesterday's artist, Alex Schomburg. Clearly, he was a go-to guy for Golden Age Hitler-punchery:

So welcome to my ad hoc Alex Schomburg Week!

Also, is anyone else creeped out by Captain Freedom's lack of pants?

Olaf sort of tipped me off to a site that had a part of this cover on it, but I did some research to find the whole one. He gets partial credit today.

Taking the Pranking One Step Farther...

Yesterday, we learned that Bucky and Cap love to prank Hitler. But the Commando Cubs have raised it to an art form.

Those wacky scamps. Note the creepy symbolism of Mussolini hiding under the bed like someone caught in flagrante delicto, and try not to note the standard casual racism.

The Cubs cause calamity in Thrilling Comics #41, with art by the legendary Alex Schomburg.

I discovered this at the same place I found yesterday's entry.

Cap and Bucky's Advice On Work

Sure, Hitler Punching is a full time job, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun:



I discovered this little bit of joy here, which coincidentally gave me a name check as well. At least I think they did...my Italian is not the best.

It's Sunday!

I ain't gonna work too hard.

Look at that little bitch Hitler limp. Heh.

rcs found this here.

Let's Just Assume This Is Hitler

Because I like what I see here...


Subby drops the bomb on (possibly) Adolf in Sub-Mariner #1, with cover art by Marcos Martin

Thanks to Olaf, I think.

Introducing the Victory Boys!

Man, could this cover get more Golden Age?

Let's see. We have:

• A team of young boys,
• Dressed in embarrassing tights,
• Recklessly endangering themselves,
• To attack Hitler, who is in cahoots with,
• A racist caricature of (I guess) Tojo, as well as,
• An equally racist caricature of what I assume is Mussolini,
• Who have apparently captured Winston Churchill (or a wax model thereof),
• And are making him sign a peace treaty,
• In what appears to be a 15th century Donjon,
• With a skull candle holder on the desk.
• Also, a swastika is being set on fire.

I think that pretty much covers it.

The Victory Boys put the boot to Hitler in USA Comics #5, with pencils by Al Gabriele and inks by George Klein.

Olaf discovered this here.

I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night...

...and punch Hitler ev-er-y day!

Most scholars agree that the turning point in the war was when Hitler foolishly invaded Detroit Rock City, thus dragging the KISS Army^TM into the conflict.

Thanks to Olaf for creating this masterpiece, whose red pixels contain trace amounts of REAL BLOOD FROM THE MEMBERS OF KISS!¹

1. May not be true.

"Did You Invade My Poland? Did You?"

Little known trivia: Olaf gained 50 pounds to make this original piece of Hitler Punching art.


Always a professional, that guy.

Of course, he did it all for these:

If you want your own HGP Fun Bucks, send your original Hitler Abuse Art to HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com.

Postcard Week? Not Really.

Even though this is the second postcard in as many days, I just don't have the supply. Sigh.

Thankfully, I've been given a few more Hitleriffic pictures in the last few days, so HGP is still running semi-strong!

I thank the HGP Auxiliary Corps for their support, and remind everyone:

Thanks to Olaf for being part of the HGP life support. I will be glad to take as many Hitler abuse pics as there are out there. Submit them to HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com, por favor.

More Monday Monkey?

Here you go!

Another sadly defunct eBay item from rcs. Per the description:

Front of card is marked, "D.R. & CO.". Back of card is marked, "SLAM THE AXIS" POST CARD. Copyrighted 1943. D. ROBBINS & CO. N.Y.C." In the upper left corner, "FOR VICTORY BUY UNITED STATES WAR BONDS AND STAMPS".

My vacation is over, and I seem to have a dearth of Hitler art. Please submit any and all Hitler abuse (especially original art!) to HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com.

Well, This Is Suggestive...

I really have nothing else to say...

I don't know what rcs was looking for when he found this here, but ostensibly this is the sales description:

WWII Anti- Hitler V-1 WARNING SIREN SURPRISE Toy, circa 1944. Apprx. 4"x3"x1" multicolor litho cardboard box with great Hitler graphics; no instructions, pieces here include two small wooden items which resemble a "pipe" and a "chair" - see pics. Object of game seems to be to shoot V-1 bombs into Hitler's gaping pie-hole. Nice and colorful box graphics referring to Warning Sirens and the V-1.

Well, I know I'm surprised...