Can the Balloon Juice and Hit Something!

Literature's nice and all, but I bet you've all been missing the sweet kiss of fists on Hitler's face.

Thankfully, Uncle Sam is here to change that:


Thanks to rcs for the picture, which he found here. You can click on it to enlarge.

And because he has a poet's soul, rcs also composed this limerick:

There once was a man from Braunau am Inn
Whose vision of the world was quite grim
Old Wolt made this site
So we can swing day & night
And punch Adolph's mug at our whim!

Which is the first time anyone has written a non-dirty limerick about me. Thanks!

Go Team Venture!

Or more accurately, "Go Team Personification of the American Spirit and Personification of Child Endangerment!"


Still, the spirit is there.

Uncle Sam's scrappy sidekick Buddy uses Hitler as a step-stool in National Comics #38, with art by Alex Kotzky, who is probably better known for his work on Apartment 3-G.

We'll Meet Again...

I question the wisdom of this plan, Sam...



Sam and Buddy do their Slim Pickens impression in National Comics #30. It looks like the artist might be Reed Crandall.

Because You Didn't NOT Ask For It!

I bring you a little more Uncle Sam action(lessness).

Up until this point I had never imagined Uncle Sam vs. Mechagodzilla. Now there is nothing I want to see more.

Giant Uncle Sam shows his stern disapproval in Uncle Sam Quarterly #7, with art by Al Bryant. And, hopefully delivers a right cross to the Fuhrer's jaw at some point.

Who Put This Swastika Here?!?

No matter. When unwanted swastikas show up...

...I know a guy to call.

Uncle Sam and his sidekick Buddy bust up symbols of evil and hand out black eyes in Uncle Sam Quarterly #5, with art by Al Gabriele.

You Know What I've Missed?

A Good Ol' Fashioned Hitler Beatdown!


Don't we all feel much better now?

Another fine piece of Hitler Punchery from cartoonist Willard Wetmore Combes.

Another thanks to Olaf.

Merchandising Week 2, Day 7!

It's been a while since we actually had a real, honest-to-goodness PUNCH!



Tell me you didn't miss that. I dare you.

Oh, and that's a matchbook, in case you're wondering. I'd take up smoking for that.

Both Olaf and Ali sent this to me. Thanks for being on the same punchtastic page, guys!

Like Axes?

How about a bad pun on a reasonably racist cartoon?



Oh, it truly was a different time. Well executed drawing, though.

I have to man up and admit that I cannot remember who submitted this and I have no idea who created it.

UPDATE: Ali has told me it was her who sent it.

Merchandising Week, Day 4!

Let's see what the worst pun I can come up with is...


"Anti-Hitler merchandising was the lynchpin of our wartime economy."

Yes. That will do.

That will do nicely.

Thanks to Olaf.

Let Freedom Ring, But Only After 3 Minutes

To quote one of the greatest documents ever written:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Frankly, I pursue happiness through looking at pictures like this:

I'll personally be taking the weekend off to celebrate the independence of this country by blowing up a small piece of it, but HGP never sleeps, so stay tuned all weekend for more Hitler abuse in the name of freedom!

For those of you away from the internet this weekend: have a safe, fun, and (above all) punch-filled 4th of July !

Uncle Sam delivers a first round KO in Big Shot #46. The artist is uncredited, but is almost certainly one of Ham Fisher's assistants. Patriotic Hat Tip to Olaf.

Postcard Week, Day 7!

Unlike the actual post office, HGP is open on Sundays!

And Stalin ain't the only one to drop a 'Dolf duece this week...¹

This "Plumbing Race" and the much-ballyhooed "Toilet Gap" (whereupon the U.S. was disturbed to learn the Soviets could flush Hitler 75 times over, to America's 22) set the future tone for much of the Cold War.

Olaf and The Alibear both independently submitted this puppy, which he apparently found at the Hitler Library, a site (to be perfectly honest) that I cannot tell is pro- or anti-Hitler...

---

1. Oh, how ashamed I am of that comment.

I Know Chinese Democracy Was a Letdown, But...

...what did Axl do to deserve...oh...

That "Axl."

This Giant Fist (Uncle Sam's fist, no less) is reaching from a General Motors poster by G. Laivson, of whom I know nothing else. Once again, Hitler clearly needs a manicure (if not the blood of a virgin).

Thanks, Olaf!

Bayonet Week, Day Six!

Good morning!

Now that Flex has left the building, I'm only doing one post a day on weekends, so Bayonet Week continues at an earlier time today. After yesterday's fistravaganza aimed at an ersatz Hitler on Mt. Reichsmore, Uncle Sam decides to chase Hitler right where he belongs:

TO HELL!

Let's just hope Sam doesn't make the same mistake Futuro did.

Olaf sent this anonymous postcard to me. Well, I guess it isn't anonymous. I just have no idea who drew it.

Gutzon Borglum Is Rolling in His Grave

You know, I'm willing to bet there are few things that could upset Uncle Sam more than if a certain Austrian War Criminal decided to add his face to a certain mountain in a certain Dakota...

I mean, I can't imagine he would take it well...


Not well AT all...


Uh huh. That's pretty much the response I expected.

Oh, Living Embodiment of the American Spirit, is there any problem you can't solve by punching?

God, I hope not. Or we are screwed.

This choice example of Knuckle-Based Hitler-Demolition appears in Justice League of America #108 - with more info to be found here. It was pencilled by Dick Dillin, inked by Dick Giordano, and submitted by Olaf, who is clearly NOT a Dick in any meaning of the word.

P.S. - if you knew what the title of this post meant without looking it up, kudos for paying attention in your Elementary School Social Studies class.

I Want You...To Flip the Bastard.

From National Comics #39, 1944. The artist was apparently Alex Kotzky, who later became better known for Apartment 3-G, which has had a dissappointing paucity of Hitler-punching throughout its long newspaper run.