Monday, August 31, 2009

Merchandising Week TWO, Day 1!

Aren't you glad I didn't make an Electric Boogaloo joke?


But I do have a Hitler dartboard for you!

It really took this long to get a dartboard up?
That's right, after the rousing success1 of the last Merchandising Week, I thought I'd return once more to the fray. For you!2

Olaf and Ali both gave me this one on separate occasions. I think they both found it here.

God I should have made an Electric Boogaloo joke.3

  1. I define a rousing success as "anything that doesn't get me lynched."
  2. But mostly for me.
  3. Or at least added another superfluous footnote.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

As You Sow... know the rest.

Today's Oblique Strategy: 'Gardening, not architecture.' Close enough.
This fantastic anti-Nazi cartoon was created by Stanislaw Toegel. More on him here.

Thanks to rcs, who discovered this piece of work here.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

It's oversleeping Saturday!

I'm slipping. Once again, I forgot to schedule a post.

Since I was caught with my pants down...

I hate to say it, but I find the Swastika Underwear almost endearing.

I thought I'd return the favor!

Thanks, Ali.

HGP trivia: I just realized this pic was used by Hayden War for his Strummer Punching Hitler artwork.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Reasons to Never Stop Punching Hitler: He's Interfering With Our Healthy Desires

Man, there sure are a lot of things you can do with Hitler.

Stay out of Riverdale, Adolf!
Well, I feel really guilty now...

But I still like punching best.

Not sure who created the first picture, but the second was found here.

Thanks to The Alibear for "Givin' it Up" and to rcs for "Givin' the Thumbs Up."

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Fictional Noseart Thursdays?

Yeah, that's a tradition that probably won't last.

Hitler looks like he's about to say 'Oh, bother.' Not really a joke, just an observation.
But maybe it should.

A little backstory for this can be found here, and more art by its creator, Edward Byrne, can be found on his art portfolio.

Thanks to rcs.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

GIANT FIST is back!


Rock crushes scissors, but sword smashes swastika.

This piece of what I can only assume is Soviet propaganda came from what I can only assume is an antifascist website.

I can only assume I should thank rcs for submitting this.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


Not Hitler, but close enough.

Time To Tidy Up

As I mentioned a few days ago, lately I've been using Oblique Strategies to determine which pic to put up each day.

Today, I was told to "Tidy Up."

As much as I love this picture, HGP normally endorses recycling.
So tidy up I did.

This was another work by Kukryniksy, the collective name of 3 cartoonists. It shows the editors of Krokodil magazine dumping out the remains of the Nazis.

Apparently the three men in the top corner are self-portraits of the artists.

I think about 3 or 4 people sent this one in to me, but rcs sent it first. I'm just going to assume Ali, Mark, and possibly Olaf also sent it at some time, to be safe.

Monday, August 24, 2009

UPDATE: Emo Tarot Drag Queen Hitler Translated!

I just received this email from HGP Contributor Mark:

From a Dutch friend of mine:

"Kiele kiele kiele is some sound which has to do with tickling someone and is a bit childlike. So maybe "tickle, tickle, tickle" comes closest. De onvervulde droom van een onderduiker means the unfulfilled dream of a person in hiding. The first thing most Dutchies think about when they here the word "onderduiker" is that of the Jews during World War II."

She also included a little dig at our beloved language:

"You guys don't have a real word for "onderduiker"? Just "person in hiding", which doesn't really have the same feel to it..."

But, having made such a wonderful contribution to the gallery of Hitler abuse, I guess the Dutch are entitled to insult us just this once.

So thanks, Mark! The mystery of Emo Drag Queen Tarot Hitler has been solved!

It's Emo Drag Queen Tarot Hitler!

If I recall, the Hanged Man in a traditional deck means "surrender, martyrdom, or self-sacrifice."

In MY deck, the Hanged Nazi means...

No, really: is Hitler in a skirt?
"A Really Good Way to Spend a Monday."

I think the caption is in Dutch, and says something about the dream of someone in hiding. Anyone who actually has any knowledge of Dutch want to take a crack?
Thanks to Ali, who I too often forget to credit on submissions.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Better Late Than Never

Oops. I just realized forgot to schedule one for this morning.

In honor of that, I'm putting up a pic that I've had on deck since I started the site:

I have a nagging suspicion that Superman was pro-internment camps. Sigh.

There. I put it up. I hope you're happy.

HGP continues its streak of daily posting, after all.

Superman plans to deal with the world's worst racist and the world's most racist caricature in one ironic swoop in Superman #17, with art by Fred Ray.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

It's Avante Garde Ambient Saturday!

Geek disclosure: I've taken to using Brian Eno's Oblique Strategies to decide which picture to share with you.

I was very clearly told to give you this:

Eat your heart out Lea Thompson.

Olaf didn't tell me to put this up today, but he did let me know I should put this up someday. I don't have art credits, so if anyone knows, please contact me.

Friday, August 21, 2009

A Reminder...

This will hurt Nazis more than it hurts me.
While I have some reservations about it, Inglourious Basterds opens today.

Despite a few technical flaws, it is the closest thing to HGP: The Movie that will probably ever be made, unless my spec script, Captain America Beats the Living Crap Out of Hitler for Three Hours Straight, is finally greenlighted (unlikely, as one of my non-negotiable stipulations is that Cap is either played by 1) Yours Truly, or 2) A Clone of Steve McQueen, circa 1962).

The 1990s Have a Lot of 'Splainin' To Do

All I can say is...


...THE HELL?!?

Here's a bit of an explanation.

Insanity from Superman At Earth's End by Tom Veitch and Frank Gomez.

Thanks...I guess... to Olaf.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

This is something else....

Ready for some oddity?

Here's Cosmo...
Further proof that ANYTHING can punch Hitler and make me happy.

Cosmo appeared in The Secret Voice #1, written and drawn by Ronald Marcus in a story whose synopsis from the Grand Comic Database is worth quoting entirely:
An invisible super-intelligent insect uses his brain radio to direct Allied war strategy, send morale to Allies, drives Hitler to Hell with his voice, and helps build the atomic bomb.
Comics are awesome.

You can find more about Cosmo's only appearance here.

Thanks Olaf, you've blown my mind.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The answer is "Yes,"...

Captain America DOES have to choke a bitch.

In case I forgot to mention it: I missed you, Steve.
And "No," I'm not as ashamed of that dated reference. At all.

Hot off of last Wednesday's presses, this is part of the wraparound cover to Captain America: Reborn #2, written by the inestimably rad Ed Brubaker, with art by Bryan Hitch and Butch Guice, and colors by Paul Mounts!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

There's Three Things You Can Rely On...



Man, if I had known Hitler was 27 feet tall, I might not have been so eager to pick a fight...

...And Daredevil Punching Hitler!

More joy from what I can only assume is Daredevil #1, with pencils by Charles Biro and inks by Bob Wood. Thanks to rcs and the Alibear, who both independently sent it from the Hitler Library, whose position on Hitler-Punching is still unclear to me.

Monday, August 17, 2009

I Recycle For Lots of Reasons...

But the main reason is vengeance.

Who says the newspaper is a dying medium?
That's a normal motivation, right?

Thanks to Olaf.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

It's Clip Show Time!

Or, HGP Gets Digitally Remastered.

[Insert cheap frame narrative here which enables Wolter to "flashback" to previous HGP entries.]

Like that time that Hitler got choked...

He's quite the mincing little dictator isn't he?
Or that one time I thought I might be able to have a whole week of Hitler Getting Pinched...

The living color version is far more Pincerrific.
And really, who can forget the time Flex put up a really crooked version of this...

Man, the last time we put this up, it looked like a bootleg movie bought on a Hong Kong street corner.
I hate to repeat myself, but that link Mark gave me had much better quality versions of some pics Flex and I already put up. Plus, what do expect on a Sunday?

Which reminds me of the time that Alex P. Keaton got addicted to diet pills... flashback humor? Don't mind if I do!

Saturday, August 15, 2009


Look, these are probably technically scissors, but what do you want from me, man?

They have a fulcrum, dammit!

I imagine a Hammer and Sickle scissors would actually be pretty inefficient. Like, heavy-handed political satire inefficient.

This is a caricature of the German-born collage artist John Heartfield, a Dadaist and Communist whose work I'm only really familiar with because the band Discharge used a piece as a album cover.

Thanks, Olaf! I see you apparently found this here.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Pincers Week: CLOSE ENOUGH edition!

Yeah, yeah, this is technically a vice.

Or is it 'vise?'
But are you really complaining?

Translation: "Germany in a vice between two fronts."

Alternate Translation: Hitler getting crushed like a goddamn pecan."

Mark's link is a cornucopia of wonder.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Pincers Week SHOWDOWN!

You call those pincers, Adolf?


I like to imagine those pincers are being wielded by a GIANT FIST.
You're embarassing us both.

Translation: Soviet Pincers are more powerful than Germany's.

Alternate Translation: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thanks again to Mark for the link.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Yes, Really...PINCERS WEEK!

I'm going for it, folks.

Come along for the ride, won't you?

Maybe I should count this one double.

Translation: "Pincers for the Pincers."

Alternate translation: "Suck it, douchebag."

Thanks to Mark, who sent me a fantastic link for Soviet Propaganda Posters.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Really? Pincers Week?

Here's another little pic found at Olaf's link from Sunday.

I've never laughed more at internal injuries.
Sweet, sweet Hitler Pinching. I'm hoping I can scrounge up enough of you to make this theme worthwhile.

Translation (as on Sunday):
What they wrote: The actions of the Social Democrats have pinched the Nazis (September 1932)

What happened: Before these laughable Socialist pliers could squeeze the National Socialist German Workers' Party, Hitler's hammer had destroyed the SPD.

Yeah, you might not want to brag about hammers...

Seriously, folks: I'm scanning my on-deck pictures for more pincer fun, but if you happen to find any, feel free to send them to HitlerPuncher @ gmail dot com.

Monday, August 10, 2009

An Observation I received from Olaf...

"So, yesteday's entry from 1928... earliest documented instance of Hitler-punching?

Unless there's a picture of Wittgenstein bullying Hitler at the Oberrealschule."

Good point...

My challenge to the reader: can you find earlier?

Reasons to Never Stop Punching Hitler: Proctology is Vital to this Nation's Security

We all know Hitler did many an evil deed (even, if you believe folks like Glenn Beck, making America elect Obama as its first Secret Kenyan Muslofascist "President")... but his war on America's proctologists still stands as one of the most vile black marks of his hateful regime. Luckily, the Land of Freedom and Jesus was not to be deterred:

From a field report, highlighting one of the may confrontations between Evil and Anus:

It's the middle of the night outside of Berlin. Dr. Goebbels sleeps fitfully, as if he knows something mean is lurking in the woods outside. The window of his picturesque little cabin is open, nothing but the cold night air moving through. A strong breeze beats through the forrest, trees creaking. The man moving through the cloudy night casts no shadows, makes no noise. Minutes later, he's through the window and inside. No lubrication, just two strong arms and one very long glove.

When it's all over, the man vanishes into the night. A note is left on the floor: You just got served. - The U.S. Proctological Corps


Pincers Week?

...well, we'll see...

Probably a bit too specific...

It's a giant tool! Also, there's a big set of pincers.
But mighty fun to watch.

You know, a lot of people make fun of the Bolshevist notion of art by committee, but Kukryniksy, a collective name of three cartoonists, did a decent job. Apparently, one would draw the faces, one the body and the last one colored it.

Both rcs and Ali submitted this independently.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

"Ach! I don't even know why I did that!"

This is an interesting's an anti-Hitler cartoon published by the Nazis...

No, really.

You can read more about it here, but more or less, it's from a book refuting the claims of anti-Nazi cartoonists, which reprints the cartoons.

Such as this dandy little number:

I never thought I'd ever approve of something Hitler did, but here we are...
From the link above, a translation of what the book claims:
What they wrote: Simplicissimus (a satirical magazine) suggested in January 1928 that the NSDAP would split so often that in the end only Hitler would be left.

What happened:
The NSDAP did not split, but Hitler was in fact left alone—but in an entirely different sense. Today in Germany there are no parties or party leaders other than Hitler.
Of course, when all is said and done, it's a picture of Hitler hitting himself in the face with an axe. And that is good enough for me.

Thanks to Olaf, who submitted this is time to make this pretty much the unofficial "Axe Week."

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Like Axes?

How about a bad pun on a reasonably racist cartoon?

I'm glad we fought the virulently wicked race theories of the Axis with our own homegrown virulent racism.

Oh, it truly was a different time. Well executed drawing, though.

I have to man up and admit that I cannot remember who submitted this and I have no idea who created it.

UPDATE: Ali has told me it was her who sent it.

Friday, August 7, 2009

You Want More Axes?

We got 'em!

I hope this is a storyboard from a alternate ending to Inglourious Basterds.
This mathematical proof of the bisection of Hitlers on a Euclidean plane was created by Ken Rolfe, a British citizen whose journal of cartoons from late in the war have been donated to the Cartoon Art Trust Museum in London.

Olaf tipped me off to this one.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

"Three Axes..."

"...that takes"

'Mussy' is so ADORABLE.
Or better yet, "Take that, Axis!"

Oh, casual racism, why must you taint otherwise delightful anti-Hitler art?

Thanks to rcs, who discovered this here.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

"An Axe..."

"...That Takes Me Back..."

This guy is my hero. He has it all figured out.
Thanks, Olaf. You've enabled me to quote Addams' Family Values on this blog.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Reasons to Eat Healthy #483

In case you need to beat the unholy crap out of Hitler.

Now I have a strange desire to watch Big Daddy Roth's Rat Fink run over a Coop-drawn Hitler-as-Satan. I can't be the only one...right? Right?
So, I saw a preview of Inglourious Basterds yesterday. I can't honestly say that it was technically a "Good" movie (in fact, in many ways it may be awful), but it almost seems to defy the description of "Good" or "Bad." I can say this: it was as close to watching HGP: The Motion Picture as I am ever likely to see.

So if you're the sort of person who likes that sort of thing, it's the sort of thing you'll like.

Thanks to rcs for the picture, which he found here.

Monday, August 3, 2009

We *WILL* Have Hitler To Kick Around

Pretty sure this could have gone in another postcard week, but I'm behind schedule and need to keep my daily posting schedule streak for April 6 alive (on my other blog, my best record has been like 5 days, so this is DiMaggio-esque for me).

Anyway, speaking of sports legends, lets have a little aphorism about rugby vs. soccer (football to our friends in foreign lands):

"Football is a gentleman's game played by ruffians and rugby is a ruffian's game played by gentlemen"

Frankly, I've never much cared for rugby until this very moment.

Good job gentlemen.

And, like football (soccer to our friends in domestic lands), I suppose these English fellas couldn't play a German without a few penalty the face.

Thanks Olaf, for the submission. No art credits, sadly.

EDIT: Also, hearty thanks to Ali, whom I forgot also submitted this.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

An HGP Bedtime Story...

Once upon a time there was a little twerp named Adolf...

Seriously: what WAS Chamberlain smoking?

He got punched.

The end.

Adolf in Blunderland, a (duh) parody of Alice in Wonderland was written by James DyrenforthMax Kester, amd illustrated by Norman Mansbridge. It was published in 1939. Thanks to rcs, who discovered this here.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

The Official Journal of HGP

I know it's trendy to say you read it for the articles, but I really prefer the centerfold...

It's Springtime for Hitler...
Thanks to rcs, who discovered it here.