Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween From HGP!

Now go out there and TP the hell out of Hitler's lawn!

A sentence that I never thought I'd write: That is the most racist pumpkin I've ever seen.
Edison Bell and Jerry take a potshot or two at the Axis-O' Lanterns in 4 Most, vol. 2, #4, with art by Al Plastino.

Olaf gave me a treat this year with this pic. I feel really bad for soaping his windows now...

Friday, October 30, 2009

No-Theme Week, 5 days in!

I haven't been to the incredibly cool Strange Maps in a while, and I feel like I should more often. Because you never know when you're going to see a map--

Luxembourg: The Knuckle of Europe

...choking Hitler like a bitch.

To those that object to the use of the term "choking like a bitch" as sexist and or offensive, just remember the Indiana Jones rule: "If it happens to Nazis, no one is offended."

Thanks to Carmen (who holds the dubious distinction of being the non-family member that I have known the longest in my life) for the link.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

No-Theme Week, Day IV!

As alert reader (and avid Billy Joel fan1) Kaleb pointed out yesterday on the HGP Facebook page,2 "No Theme" is a sort of theme. So by not having a theme, I have a theme, and therefore have not stuck to my theme.

I have failed again.

On an unrelated and therefore related note, here's a picture of Hitler getting indigestion due to the machinations of Senator Claude Pepper:

That looks less like a swastika, and more like the letter 'E' dancing to the Bangles.
Cartoon originally drawn by Lynn Brudon, and submitted by rcs.

  1. You're going to sue me for libel, aren't you Kaleb?
  2. Which I have been forced to name "H1tler Getting Punched" because apparently the thought of hurting Hitler offends people.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

No-Theme Week, Part 3.1415926535....!

I hope this has little to do with yesterday's...

Chamber pots are circular. That's my justification for the title, ok?!?!
...otherwise, I've ruined the theme. Just like that urchin has ruined Hitler's chamber pot.

Thanks to rcs

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

No Theme Week, Day 2.7182818284590....!

Eat your heart out, Al Jaffee:

If only I could find Spy vs. Spy vs. Hitler...

Click to enlarge.

I post this because it in no way relates to yesterday's entry. And because I used to love those old Mad fold-ins.

I hope I can keep up this lack of theme for a whole week...

Thanks to rcs, who discovered this here.

Monday, October 26, 2009

No-Theme Week, Day 1!

As yesterday attested, the only theme this week is No Theme. And what better way to celebrate a week with no set identity than with a country that has the same quandary?

Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you:

Canada's second greatest Hitler Puncher? Anne Murray.


Image taken from "Johnny Canuck in Berlin," written by Leo Bachle, published in Dime Comics No. 2.

Olaf contributed this pic, which he found here.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Not Postcard Week! Day Zero!

Last week wasn't Bayonet Week, and today isn't a theme week at all!

I somehow doubt Adolf could get into Valhalla. Maybe as a waiter.

Have a great NO THEME AT ALL WEEK!

Olaf submitted this postcard, about which I don't really have any other information other than it's signed "FREDERIK."

Saturday, October 24, 2009

October Revolution Week, Day 9!

Well, I figured I'd run this one a little later in the day, because our semi-quasi-occasional guest contributer, one Flex Flexerson, has thrown down a gauntlet.

So, I bring you the final installment of October Revolution Week +2 Days:

After yesterday's odd Yakov Smirnov-Beatles mashup joke, I just couldn't, in good conscience, make a Revolution #9 joke today.
"As you sow, so shall you reap."

Okay, apparently it literally translates as "What you sow, that you harvest," but that sounds like it was translated by a machine.

Thanks, Mark. I think I've finally squeezed all the Hitler I could out of this link.

The Official Car of HGP

Now, I know Wolter. He's a good man. A brave man. A man who isn't afraid to start a blog that collects media of Hitler getting punched and otherwise abused. A finer Christian I know not. But, he's also a terrible, terrible communist sometimes. Why? Because he doesn't own a car. Luckily, I have found the official vehicle of Hitler Getting Punched:
Face Punching Mobile
That's right, it's the Face Punching Mobile (no known credits). I would assume that it was invented in a top secret lab run within the fearsome Antarctic base the Allies constructed in 1942. (note: this history is 100% true).

Now, friends, I throw down the gauntlet! Doctor this graphic. DOCTOR IT TO HELL and make it punch Hitler. Any submissions will be posted. If we receive none, Wolter will cry. And no one wants that.

Onward, HGP soldiers.

Friday, October 23, 2009

October Revolution Week, Day 8!

"In Russia, Week Has Eight Days of You!"

Ugh. I apologize for that.

Anyhoo, moving on to more of this NOT IN ANY WAY A BAYONET WEEK, we have another one from our old friend(s) Kukryniksy:

Silly Russians. Hitler didn't *have* a heart.

"Strike in his heart!"

And strike in my heart they did.

Mark carpetbombed my heart when he sent me this link.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

October Revolution Week, Day 7!

Well, Adolf: it turns out you actually are their stepping stone.

'Tommy Gun! Ivan ain't happy unless he's got one!'

"Allies With Us"

This dynamic representation of the Yalta Conference was in that magical link Mark provided.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

October Revolution Week, Day 6!

That's right. Despite evidence to the contrary, this is October Revolution Week, NOT Bayonet Week, part deux.

What is that, a haiku?

"Our blows become stronger every day,
East will be Hitler's grave, and West will be his trap."

Once again, I restate: Mark, who is CLEARLY an avowed Communist who hates the troops, provided the link for this.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

October Revolution Week, Day 5!

That's right, I've managed to end up five days in to a Russian Propaganda poster monsoon. Better get your umbrella out because the 5-day forecast is looking up:

"On the Moscow, Hoh, from the Moscow, oh!"

Thanks to Mark (Happy Belated Birthday, by the way), for giving me the link that keeps on giving.

Monday, October 19, 2009

October Revolution Week, Day 4?

Yeah, I know I haven't called it that yet, but it's October, and I've been tossing out Russian Propaganda Posters like it's my job.

God how I wish it were my job.

Look, the original Bayonet Fortnight aged me ten years. Don't put me through that again!

This one has the benefit of also doubling as a bayonet picture (I am NOT doing another week of those..).

The poster translates as "Decisive Step." If Hitler really was deciding to step into a whole mess o' bayonets, I sure as hell wouldn't stop him.

Thanks to Mark. Like all the posters this week, it's from this link he sent me.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Impromptu Propaganda Poster Week, Day 3!

Man, say what you will about the Russkies, they had kickass propaganda posters back in the day:

'No Bpary,' indeed.
Translation: Every Hit of the Hammer is a Hit on the Enemy

Alternate Translation: Big Red Dude Bombs the Hell Out of Hitler With a Magic Anvil.

Thanks to Mark for discovering this link.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Not Actually A Punch...

Unofficial Russian Propaganda Poster Week enters its second day with this:

Albert Einstien is William H. Macy in 'The Josef Stalin Story.
Translation: Take This!

He's not actually punching Hitler, just shooting the figs at him. But we know what's coming, don't we?

I'm probably going to turn this into a theme week, even if the week started on Friday. After all, it's October, so I guess we can honor the October Revolution or something.

Both rcs and Mark sent this in. I assume the both found it here.

Friday, October 16, 2009

I'm Tired Of Phoning It In...


This is one fist away from being the best version of Hungry, Hungry Hippos EVER.
Translation: Blows From Three Sides Will Finish Fascist Germany

Alternate Translation: Fuck. Yes.

Also: I want those Soviet cufflinks.

Thanks to Mark, who found this slab o' rad here.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Phonin' It In Week Question:

I'm probably misinterpreting this, but...

This kid is built just like Mega Man.
Am I watching the Campbell's kid training to battle Hitler?

Thanks to Olaf for this pic, which I have no more information about.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

It's Beginning To Feel a Lot Like Christmas

...around Chicago at any rate. The last few days have been chilly.

Which brings my thoughts to some of the delightful holiday memories I have of growing up: trimming the tree, sneaking out of bed to see if Santa came yet, eggnog (delicious without booze as a kid, even better with as an adult), thinking I was done with my presents only to have my dad bring out just one more, and of course....

I've been wracking my brains for a good Rhino Records joke to make here, but I've failed thus far.

The Traditional Christmas Rhino Attack.

Ali found this here.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Am I Just Phoning It In This Week?

...because I just don't even have the energy to punch today:

Hey Adolf, pull my--you know what? Never mind.
Maybe I'll put some more effort in tomorrow.

Barring that, does anyone have a whoopie cushion I can borrow?

Thanks to Ali for alerting me to this, which she found here.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Just Another Monday Hitler-Lynching

Nothing to see here...

I do like the Rising Sun and Swastika branches. Make my satire heavy-handed, please.

I was originally aiming for a Columbus Day tie-in, but if I don't get the day off from work, you don't get a theme.

Thanks to Ali, who got this from that very confusing Hitler Library. No idea who drew it, when, or where, though.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Well, This Is a Doozy...

Okay, Golden Age. You are really hard to explain sometimes.

Short version: Private Dogtag (The World's Dumbest Soldier) is invisible due to some potion and he's flying after Hitler in an indestructible plane with his lucky ring to...oh, nevermind. Just watch:

I have no idea what to do for rollover jokes.
No, really.
No idea.
Well, I have one...
Well, it's less of a joke, it's an observation:
I love the use of little swastikas for the impact.
That was really it.
You can probably stop reading now.
Well, you can read the actual panel texts.
I just don't have any other things to say.
Still reading?
I assume you're thinking there will be at least one good one.
Don't you think I would have used it by now?
I've never held back before.
I bet you feel dumb for reading all of them.
Dogtag was drawn (or, mostly not drawn) by Bart Tumey. The entire story can be found here.

Thanks to Olaf.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Hey Hitler, I got a match...

...your face and my butt!


Mussolini looks a bit like Michael Chiklis here....

Sorry it's not clever today. I was consulting Dr. Scotch while I wrote this.

Thanks, Ali. And thanks Hitler Library. Unless you're pro-Hitler. In that case, drop dead Hitler Library.

Friday, October 9, 2009


I always feel really awkward posting some of these pics, because there is a great deal of racial insensitivity floating under the surface. It was a different time, with different social mores. I mean, a newspaper comic starring a character named Big Chief Wahoo who could complain about having to cook by saying "Ugh! Squaw work!" is not exactly PC, or even socially acceptable these days.1

But have that same stereotype put an arrow in Hitler's ass?

'I will fight no more forever...unless Hitler shows up. Then all bets are off, bitches.' - Chief Joseph

"Ugh. Wolter like. Brave work."

Big Chief Wahoo was created by writer Allen Saunders and artist Elmer Woggon,2 and usually appeared in newspapers under distribution from Publisher's Syndicate. Cover taken from Famous Funnies #102. For the record, Famous Funnies is usually considered the first newstand "comic book."

Thanks to Olaf for the tip-off.

  1. Note that I didn't even mention Tojo/Hirohito. Honestly, it would be easier just to point out when the Japanese WEREN'T portrayed by racist caricatures.
  2. So at least the "Wog" signature is not another random racial slur.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

The Flamingo!

This is a pretty damn cool piece of work by illustrator Paul Sizer:

I'm not gay, but I'm an open Hitler Puncher and proud of it.

A description from his DeviantArt page:

The REMAKE/REMODEL thread is re-activated at Warren Ellis' WHITECHAPEL forums, and it was missed, but the time off recharged people's batteries, so it's all good. Here's this week's description of THE FLAMINGO:

"From Contact Comics in 1944:
Colonel Moore Williams knows the enemy is easily terrified by the strange and unknown, so he becomes the superhero known as the Flamingo! He has no powers and is only armed with his intellect, his physical strength, his service revolver, and a specially built plane. He uses his new identity to accomplish things the military cannot."

Because people punching Hitler NEVER goes out of style, I decided to make my Flamingo be a defender of America and a champion for the gay men in the armed forces, most of whom were not able to be "out" with their sexuality in that time period. I figured that he would have a special grudge against Hitler's Nazi regime, based on the fact that homosexuals were persecuted as much as the Jewish and Roma people during World War 2.
The pink triangle was used by the Nazis to identify homosexuals in the concentration camps, and the symbol has been re-purposed by some gay support groups in modern times, hence why I have The Flamingo wearing the triangles as a sign of defiance and pride.

Fake comic book cover for the thread.

Pencils/Inks: MANGASTUDIO EX 3.0
It also comes in poster form. And though this one isn't available, you can purchase another, very kickass anti-Nazi poster from that same profile.

Thanks to Olaf for the link.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Captain Marvel: Way Too Nice

Billy, you're going to have to do better than this...

'Really, we honestly deserve more knuckles across the face.'

"Well, to be perfectly honest, you really should be punching me."

Captain Marvel puts the Axis to the test in his own self-titled Adventures, #21 with art by the inimitable1 C.C. Beck.

Thanks to Olaf.
  1. Okay, he's probably been imitated by hundreds of artists over the years.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


...I'm Johnny Cash.

I see the punch a-comin'...

Thank you once again to Olaf. This made my day.

Monday, October 5, 2009

When Boxing Gloves Are Not Enough...

Joe Palooka did some good work yesterday. But he needs to finish the job.

An admission: I have had far too many shots of tequila to come up with an alt-text joke.
Joe Palooka trades in the gloves for hot lead in Joe Palooka #2, with art by Ham Fisher.

Thanks, rcs.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Get In The Ring!

No, I'm not referring to Axl Rose's petulant and childish attack on music journalists on Use Your Illusion II.

I'm referring to another famous redhead's justified and proper attack on fascist scumbags:

Who's the REAL Palooka here?

Joe Palooka stings like a B-29 in Big Shot #32, with art by Ham Fisher (or more likely, one of his assistants).

Thanks, Olaf.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

I Don't Know Exactly What To Say About This One...

But I'm assuming a place where A JACK KIRBY MICKEY MOUSE IS PUNCHING HITLER...

One Mouse Army Corps! a very magic kingdom indeed.

Thanks again to the ever-prolific Olaf. And remember, you can submit your own Hitler-Punching Art to HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Hey Thing: What Time Is It?

I suspect the cosmic radiation made Ben Grimm's watch stop on this very time.
Well, thank you.

And thank Olaf for this little bit o' photoshoppery.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Some Cerebral Mockery of Hitler...

...from three of America's greatest social critics:

Not shown: Hitler failing to block an eye-poke.

Although I really wish there were more punching. I guess they're too highbrow for the likes of me.

Still taken from the Stooges short "You Nazty Spy." Thanks to Sauza Paul for the image.