Thursday, December 31, 2009

Not Even Remotely Timely

I was originally going to put this up around Christmas, but I received plenty of more suitable pics.

Leave it to Rob Liefeld's comic company to manage to make Santa a musclebound, knife-wielding, pouch-bedecked psychopath. But wait...

Is that Hitler in the pile?

One thing I could have told you wouldn't be in the pile: feet.
Eh, close enough.

This tastelessness appeared in Santa the Barbarian #1, and was actually drawn by Dan Fraga (who is, I suppose a step up, artwise from his crosshatch-prone employer). I actually hadn't heard of this comic until recently, since I pretty much stopped reading comics for a decade when they all started looking like this.

And no, Virginia. To the best of my knowledge, there has been no Santa the Barbarian #2.


Wednesday, December 30, 2009

GIve a Hoot: Read a Book, part 2

As part of our ongoing literacy program here at HGP, may I offer you this complimentary bookmark?

Apparently, some jerk bought the axis popsicles...
The original can be found here.

Thanks to rcs, for reminding us to read early and often.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Sweat it Out, Adolf!

You will be getting punched. Oh yes.

HGP Trivia: There are no actual jokes or humorous asides today. Not even attempts.

I have no idea who drew the cover to Prize Comics #37, but I'm hoping Yank and Doodle moved up the food chain.

Monday, December 28, 2009

It's Golden Age Policy...

All heroes must go after the middle-aged, unarmed politician first, while allowing your underage sidekick to tackle the Luger-toting career soldier.

'The Sorceress of Zoom' would be an awesome band name.
Way to follow protocol, Eagle.

Also, per Weird Comics #20 (artist unknown), that Winston Churchill is still getting himself into scrapes.

An admission: I almost just credited Olaf for this out of habit, even though I found this my own damn self.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

"Hitler Rhino Skates"

That was my original draft title for this, so I could remind myself what picture was on here:

Believe it or not, I still think of this as a Christmas-themed entry...To be honest, that's pretty much everything you need to know. All attempts at changing it are fruitless. Also, this is about as awesome a concept as I have ever seen.

Olaf found this picture, which is by an artist named Rheall; you can check out her site here.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Happy Boxing Day!

I would really love to have the moment of impact, but I think this tells a story:

I like to imagine this Hitler also rides a Pennyfarthing.
Any day that ends with Hitler on the floor is a day well spent.And a pretty darn good one.

Olaf discovered this little sequence here. It's from this film.

Friday, December 25, 2009

A Christmas Message From Santa

Sometimes words can hit as hard as a fist:

Well, not really. But still...watching Santa give Hitler a dressing down is a Christmas Miracle to me. Plus, come on, how awesome is it to hear that right jolly old elf say: "YOU WILL GO THE WAY OF ALL GRASPING TYRANTS...PERISH IN BLOODY DEFEAT..."

Olaf found this here.


rcs gets Grinchy on Adolf:


Thursday, December 24, 2009

I Can't Believe It's Krampus Eve!

In fact, it snuck up on me so fast I didn't have time to clean up and color my own Krampus art:

I've drawn better, but I've also drawn a lot worse.


Wednesday, December 23, 2009

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like...

People need to write more Krampus Karols.

Well, at least everywhere I go.

Thanks to Olaf for the Kristmas Krampus Kraziness, which he Kreated. If you want to submit your own Krampus art, by all means send them to HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Hitler's War On Christmas...

Rudolf with your hooves so hard/Next time kick him in the 'nards. not going well.

Thanks to rcs for bringing the DIY reindeer games. May his stocking be stuffed with HGP fun bucks this year.

Monday, December 21, 2009

With All the Guns Trained on Hitler The Last Few Days...

I would never have expected the Red Skull to be the one to finish the job...

Eat your heart out, Rommel. THAT'S how you turn on Hitler.
Thanks to rcs for the pic. Issue and artist unknown.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Maybe He Didn't Agree About "Like a Virgin."

Well, I've been making a time of Hitler-at-gunpoint images, so I guess in honor of the upcoming DVD release of Inglourious Basterds, I'll add one more:

Tomorrow, Uma Thurman cuts Hitler in two with a katana.
I'm willing to sacrifice Mr. Brown if I have to. Sorry, Quentin.

Olaf tipped me off about this image, which he found here.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Did I Put Up Five Entries This Week...

Or six?

Now I want to see an aging Clint tell Hitler to get off his lawn.
In all the confusion, I almost forgot to thank rcs for making my day with more DIY action!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Every Time I Try to Escape DIY Week...

...rcs drags me kicking and screaming back in.

I literally laughed out loud at this one, though:

One of these days, I'm gonna get Mein Kampf organisized.

Someday a real rain will come, Adolf...

Thursday, December 17, 2009


Really, what else is there to say, but...?

Heh. Bonk.

This mysterious beflagged man BONKS Hitler and Tojo together on Power Comics #2, art signed "DEL," which may by Maurice del Bourgo.

Oh, and seriously, anyone and everyone out there who wants to draw me a Christmas Krampus spanking Hitler, by all means send it to HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com. My grinchy little Hitler Punching heart will grow three sizes if you do.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

We'll Meet Again...

I question the wisdom of this plan, Sam...

I've NEVER been more proud of being an American than when writing for this blog.

Sam and Buddy do their Slim Pickens impression in National Comics #30. It looks like the artist might be Reed Crandall.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Kick Him 'Til You Puke!

If there's one thing Andrew W.K. likes to do, it's party.

But if there's another thing he likes to do, I can only assume it's...

He's moved on to Hitler-Punching? Is there any art form that Andrew W.K. won't master?
Kicking Hitler in the face.

Thanks to Olaf for providing me with my favorite DIY Hitler-kick-to-the-face in history. And thanks to Hoy for providing the photo.

If anyone would care to top Olaf (maybe by having the Electric Six punching Hitler), send your own Hitler-injuries to HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com.

Monday, December 14, 2009

More DIY For Monday!

You know, Hitler was less angry at Jesse Owens for winning those medals in 1936 than most people think.

What really pissed the Fuhrer off was when Jesse flying-roundhouse-kicked him into the long-jump sandpit.

Owens later credited Luz Long with advising him on where on Hitler's face to plant his feet.

Thanks to rcs for the DIY Hitler-smackin'. Send your own DIY entries to HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com, and be part of the fun.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

If Adolf Hitler Flew In (Again) Today...

...they'd smack in the face with a bass!

DIY action continues with this piece from rcs!

BALLS TO YOU, HITLER!Bonus feature: The HGP Roundtable

Olaf: "I like the surrealism of it. 'Paul Simonon goes bass fishing in a lake that looks like Hitler'"

rcs: "finally, someone understands my efforts! i suffer for my work - you should suffer, too!"

Wolter: "Solid."

Don't be left in the cold, folks! Send your DIY Hitler Pain to HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com.!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

NES DIY Action!

You know what? I used to hate the damn dog from Duck Hunt. Always laughing at my poor aim. But then...There are two more bullets left! Shoot! SHOOT!


Thanks to Still216 for another entry in his acclaimed (by me) series (do two entries count as a series? I think they do) of DIY NES art.

Friday, December 11, 2009

L'had'lik neir shel Hitler Punch!

The future Mrs. Hitler Puncher has submitted a piece of DIY artwork honoring the rich traditions of Hanukkah:

I can't decide what I find more amusing: the swag bag labelled 'Nazi Loot' or the Mogen David saying 'woo-hoo!'
Well, sort of...

Thanks, Ali! Your HGP Fun Gelt is on the way.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

More DIY Today!

A couple of days ago @Darth_Awesome made a second one!

This one is suitably titled:

Man, he hit Hitler so hard he turned into Shane MacGowan.

"Hitler's Dentist has his work cut out for him."

I need more DIY art folks. Send me your own homemade Hitler-hatin' hilarity at HitlerPuncher AT gmail DOT com.

And I'll give you some of these.

And if you're one of the hundreds of new readers from the Baltic region, I say: hallo!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I've Had Alls I Can Stands

...and I can stands no more!

Of course, we all had to sit through 5 minutes of Hitler bullying him until he opened a can of spinach.

Thanks to yesterday's google headline, rcs has given me a little D.I.Y. Hitler Action!

In honor of this, I declare the next few days D.I.Y. DAZE!1 All original Hitler art only, at least until...say...the first day of Chanukah.2

  1. Because I can't spell "Days" correctly.
  2. Because I only have 3 at present.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails?


Arrows and Slingshots and Shards of Broken Glass?

Man, that globe looks PISSED.

Hitler and the gang are about to get what for in Boy Comics #4, with art by Charles Biro.

Thanks to Olaf.

Monday, December 7, 2009

I Dream Of Punching Hitler This Hard

You know, sometimes it's just nice to see someone deck Der Fuhrer so hard he flies through the air:

I suppose I should have put up a horrible Tojo caricature for the 68th anniversary of Pearl Harbor, but that's not really how I roll.
Don't you feel better for seeing that? I know I do.

Captain Courageous cold-cocks Hitler (almost as well as Destroyer does) in Banner Comics #3 (artist unknown). Of course, He may punch as well as Destroyer, but his uniform is only about half as goofy...

Sunday, December 6, 2009

More Guest Art!

I didn't just get one submission from Friday's call to arms. Oh no.

I got two.

Ladies and gentlement, Ken Lowery gives us:

That's an awful lot of blood. Good.
Hitler Gets His Shit Wrecked.

Ken has his fingers in a lot of internet pies, most notably the web series The Variants and possibly my all time favorite twitter feed ever, The Fake AP Stylebook.

Which leads me to the question, should I put a © or a an ® after HGP Fun BucksTM?

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Fist Meets...Awesome.

Yesterday, I sent out the following twitter call-to-action:

@HitlerPuncher I need to devote more time to making Original Hitler Punching art. And so do you.

Within a half hour, I received this gem from @Darth_Awesome, entitled:

I enjoy the variant form of Chris Sim's vaunted 'Aparo Effect.'

"Fist Meets Asshole."

Hell's yes. Your HGP Fun Bucks are in the mail. And by "in the mail," I mean "at the end of that link."

For the record, feel free to follow me, even though I probably only say something insightful about once ever two months.

Friday, December 4, 2009

A Most Thrilling Fast Action Adventure Story!

Thank you, Cat-Man, for giving me the best possible reason to buy War Bonds:

Side observation: I would LOVE to see Buzz Aldrin deck Hitler for denying the moon landing (and genocide).
To fund the race to put a Hitler on the moon.

Not sure who drew the cover for Cat-Man #19, but whoever it is should be proud of the masterful portrayal of Hitler getting punched into orbit.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Because You Didn't NOT Ask For It!

I bring you a little more Uncle Sam action(lessness).

You can tell Adolf's fear level by the angle and velocity of his hat ejection. It's SCIENCE.

Up until this point I had never imagined Uncle Sam vs. Mechagodzilla. Now there is nothing I want to see more.

Giant Uncle Sam shows his stern disapproval in Uncle Sam Quarterly #7, with art by Al Bryant. And, hopefully delivers a right cross to the Fuhrer's jaw at some point.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Who Put This Swastika Here?!?

No matter. When unwanted swastikas show up...

I would have liked to see Hitler earn that black eye, but beggars can't be choosers.
...I know a guy to call.

Uncle Sam and his sidekick Buddy bust up symbols of evil and hand out black eyes in Uncle Sam Quarterly #5, with art by Al Gabriele.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The Best Advice You Can Give the Youth of Today?


*This* is why he's the King, folks.
Thank you, Jack Kirby and Joe Simon, for teaching us about life and love.

The Boy Commandos give Hitler just that in Boy Commandos #2.