Thursday, July 2, 2009

The Great Question of the Ages

Marvel Comics has never been afraid to ask the tough questions, questions like:
  • What if exposure to radiation didn't lead to hair loss, thyroid damage, reduced lymphocyte count, nausea, diarrhea, sterility, cancer, and/or death, but rather made people into giant green rampaging monsters or wisecracking acrobats able to stick to walls?
  • Could a short, hairy Canadian with a history of violent behavior become a Hollywood sex symbol?
  • Is there anything more ass-kicking than this cover?1
And in the fall of 1991, they answered the question on all of our minds:

This cover would have made Fredric Wertham apopleptic. And probably not a little hot and bothered...
Well, other than it being vaguely homoerotic, it turns out the answer is:

The 'helpless Jews' line seems a little patronizing, but *I'm* not a Canadian sex symbol...
Hitler gets shot, y'all.

The 90s were, of course, a darker time. Punching was apparently not gritty enough.

Alternate timeline Hitler gets a hot lead injection in What if..? (volume II) #28, written by George Caragonne, with pencils by Ron Wilson and inks by Ralph Cabrera.

Olaf found this, which I believe makes him an honorary U.S. citizen by now, whether he likes it or not.2

  1. Probably not.
  2. Probably not much, though it does mean he's closer to Elvis.

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