Monday, August 10, 2009

Reasons to Never Stop Punching Hitler: Proctology is Vital to this Nation's Security

We all know Hitler did many an evil deed (even, if you believe folks like Glenn Beck, making America elect Obama as its first Secret Kenyan Muslofascist "President")... but his war on America's proctologists still stands as one of the most vile black marks of his hateful regime. Luckily, the Land of Freedom and Jesus was not to be deterred:

From a field report, highlighting one of the may confrontations between Evil and Anus:

It's the middle of the night outside of Berlin. Dr. Goebbels sleeps fitfully, as if he knows something mean is lurking in the woods outside. The window of his picturesque little cabin is open, nothing but the cold night air moving through. A strong breeze beats through the forrest, trees creaking. The man moving through the cloudy night casts no shadows, makes no noise. Minutes later, he's through the window and inside. No lubrication, just two strong arms and one very long glove.

When it's all over, the man vanishes into the night. A note is left on the floor: You just got served. - The U.S. Proctological Corps


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